May 3, 2004

• Forty Three years ago today…

  
  

  Nah, I don’t feel it today. So I’ll just post what I do feel instead.

  
  

  What I feel today is deeper. I seem to have a broader view than the one held most of my life. I’ve always thought more deeply about things than the average bear, but now I can’t seem to allow for second-hand information as easily and maybe I’m more cynical and need to search out things to have a more personal account of an issue.

  
  

  I think about more meaningful things now and much less about the latest fashion and I attempt to have at least an awareness of other peoples and other places. When I was younger, my world was this area in which I was born and had been raised. I’ve traveled just enough to realize I’m but a speck in the grander scheme of life that the God I know has created. Still I feel important, at least to Him, if to no one else I know.

  
  

  I’ve come to realize, though I’ve always held family ties in a high position in life that these people, with whom I interact and have known all my life, are more valuable than any commodity known. I feel sorry for the people I have met whose families are less likely than my own to be supportive and loving and there for them. Because of this, I hope to become family to those folks if I can. I’ve learned that some people are not receptive to this process, probably due to having felt independent as a must and skeptical of others who attempt to be close. There are some though, who truly latch on to a good friend and receive the relationship for the time it’s available and are better for it. And I am better for it as well.

  
  

  I’ve grown fonder of quieter times, less likely to feel I always need a group around me and a noise of some sort on in the background. Though I still thoroughly enjoy gatherings and music and feel blessed to have so many resources available for meeting the need to hear something inspiring or moving or funny.

  
  

  I appreciate, even more than before, things people do to show they thought of me, for any reason. (That Love Language thing popping up again) I enjoy to the point of tearing up, doing things for others and seeing their enjoyment.

  
  

  Making or growing things myself is a source of sheer delight. I feel akin to the pioneer women who were so capable and made amazing things with their own hands, ingenuity and often, sweat. I guess, in truth, I long for the simpler times and wish things weren’t so hectic and complicated as they are nowadays. Better in some ways, life was good ‘back then’ and some days I wish I could will myself into those times when people worked hard and slept soundly from the bodily fatigue, rather than tossing and turning, still wound up from mental exhaustion. *sigh *

  
  

  OK, I think I’ll stop reminiscing, waxing philosophical and begin accomplishing something for the here and now, today.

  • 10:36 am
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