February 5, 2002
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A combination of things today has made me weepy. I cried on Mike as soon as I got home this evening. I felt terrible about it too, because he had to leave school today feeling so ill. I hoped to be here for him and not him have to listen to ME blubber all over the place. Especially since he has commented so much on my strength and being the one to keep a positive outlook and so forth. I just could not keep it in today.
The combination of THINGS to which I referred starts with the house I am trying to get cleaned up to move into and have my own space. The need is because I have no space of my own here at my niece’s and feel in the way frequently and Mike and I have less time to talk because I try to be mindful of the phone line and the fact that they can get no calls while I am online. My job is no good. I make so much less than the amount to which I had been accustomed adn I don’t care for what I am doing either. No future there either. Back to the house, it is such a mess. I am so disgusted by the way the people left it tht I can barely stand to go in it .. much less handle the things they left to get it cleaned up. If I choose to not take it though, it may be quite a while before I get a place and I need sleep so much I can’t stand it. I get less here than I need ( and I don’t really require that much). I felt ill yesterday, have been ill several times lately, not like me to be sick much.
Add to the list my children who seem to have no time for me and the topper of course is that I want to be with Mike, and today, I cry. There you have it… there are more list items, but I shall refrain from putting them here at this point. Most of you are aware of some anyway, like my family and their views about my life.
Tomorrow I will be back to my optimistic self I believe. Tonight I shall just cry and hopefully sleep. First I must go to the nasty house and try the phone. It should be turned on there today.
So…. good night to all. Maybe the next chapter I will be able to post from my story. I had no heart to write today. Maybe later tonight or in the morning I will.
take care all
hugssssssssssssssssssss,
Deb
Comments (4)
We all have days liek that Deb, don’t worry!!
Thanks for your sweet comments on my Blog; you truly are a very kind and giving person.
You know, we have a lot in common…probably graduated High School the same year, both have three kids around the same ages!! What are the chances??
Which city do you live in, BTW?? (e-mail me if you don’t want to post it) My Dad and brother live in Cincinnati.
I understand that life is not easy for you Deb and I dry your tears .
have courage Michel
Thanks to both of you and I am feeling some better today. I could have used some sleep but at least I don’t seem to be near tears today.
Maybe a nap is better than food at my lunch hour today 
We shall see…
Deb
I hope tomorrow feels much better. (((hugs)))